This could get offensive...but then again the truth hurts.

My dad told me years ago when I was a tween that if I had to show off my goodies to get a guy they were not worth having. He said to respect myself and my body and I would eventually find the right guy that would do the same in return. I thought about that statement when I was watching a make over show at my fiance's house Saturday morning. They were making over a mom who was in her mid 40's but insisted on dressing like she was in her late teens. She was thin and had the Erin Brokavich mentality of if you got it flaunt it, but really she just looked dumb. Sorry it's true. A person can try too hard and her excuse was just b/c she was older didn't mean she has to dress like an old lady. Well, no one says you have to dress like your granny but when your daughter is so embarrassed to be seen with you b/c of how you dress to the point she is putting you on TV to have some one show you....you might have a problem. I guess this brings me to, be the example you want your daughter to become. If you don't want your daughter dressing like a slut...then don't set that example. Teach her instead that self confidence comes from the inside not what you are wearing. Otherwise she will be sneaking out of the house with low cut tops on, booty shorts, and will be attracting the wrong kind of attention. It can lead her in life to feel like she has to dumb herself down to be happy.

Another thing worth considering aside from being that positive role model to your daughter and being the person you want her to become is daughters are also becoming angry towards their mothers appearance b/c they feel it sparks competition and gives teen girls an unfortunate message about "how the mom feels about herself, her age and her own insecurities about appearance," . "That's a message that has me very concerned: It's a youth-worshiping philosophy and suggests that the mom isn't comfortable with getting older."
Its ok to  look sophisticated and elegant, but come on ladies...cute is teenagers. Yes when the time comes I will be getting a lil bit of botox...so what, I don't think that is a big deal, but I am not going to dress below my age b/c when I was in my 20's and saw someone older then 35 dressing like a teenager I just shook my head and reminded myself why I don't want to look like that.

Basically, be the woman you want your daughter to become...if you have a son be the woman you want your son to marry....If you have no kids stop dressing like a retard! check this link out...
http://www.oprah.com/style/Dressing-for-Your-Age/6#slideshow

Women and man drama...whew...

When we were little girls, playing with our dolls and tea sets I don’t think any of us looked up with our innocent little eyes and said, ‘mommy, when I grow up, I want to go out with a bad boy’, yet oddly enough, many a woman has dedicated herself to the task of chasing and attempting to tame bad boys with more ferocity than they dedicate to their careers.The frightening thing is that women chase men that treat them mean, get hurt, but still won’t try a ‘nice’ guy. When they do, the ‘nice’ guy spends a lot of time working on and attempting to repair the damage created by her experiences with ‘bad’ guys. The women that chase the bad guy often penalise the future partners for the bad choices that they’ve made in the past.

Time and time again we witness women that appear to love to be treated badly and it’s bewildering. How is it that some women have managed to be conditioned that love comes in the form of a man that struggles to be good to her in any way, shape or form? Is it possible that we have watched so many movies, read so many books, been impressionable so young, that we have become convinced that there must be a shitload of drama for it to constitute the big love and if there isn’t sparks flying and fireworks shooting out of our ass when we get with a guy, then it can’t be meant to be?

The reason why women chase bad boys is because of the thrill of the chase, the occasional hints of a better character, and the twisted notion that these guys are ‘men’.
As soon as we got old enough to put on training bras and put lipstick on behind our parents backs, we rarely paid attention to the guy that was ardently showing his feelings for us, and instead lusted after the elusive guy that every other girl at school wanted. These guys were often built up on a jumped up history where they drank, smoked, were a key player on the sports team (the cool ones), seemed daring, and often had a car to boot. Just as there was a massive thrill to this guy bestowing you with his attention and dating you making you the coolest girl at school, there was a massive thrill to not only getting his attention, but even when you were rejected by him, after all of the tears, we jumped back in the saddle and continued the chase of the bad boys. I think that we were often having an internal contest with ourselves and our peers where we’d ‘show them’ and prove that we could pull a bad boy too. Some of us got wiser after leaving school, others have translated their behavior into the big wide world where bad boys are ten a penny.

These bad boys can manage to be nice to these women and give them just enough attention to keep them hanging on. The attention may come in the form of sex, gifts, taking them out from time to time, but then they disappear leaving the woman confused. There are bad boys who make the woman the legitimate girlfriend, but their behaviour makes it clear that they have other interests. Sometimes they’re blatant and tell the woman that they are sleeping with other people, often they don’t but his behaviour is a dead giveaway. Like the guy who says he sleeps in the same bed as another woman...they are "just friends" swears they aren't having sex but her behavior proves otherwise. I mean really, don't insult me by thinking I have a 5 year old mentality and believe everything I hear. There are some that have an emotional control over their women and others have gone into very dubious territory with a physical control. Whatever it is that these guys are doing, the women in their lives see something in the behaviour which they take as a sign that they can be the ones to make him be different, they can be the ones to tame him, if only they can do x, y and z.

There is this weird notion that guys seem like more of a man when they treat you like shit. If a guy is really nice, women discard him into the friend pile with the word ‘nice’ cropping up repeatedly. He’s also often completely disregarded as boring and some women will wonder if he’s gay because he’s being so nice. It seems that a guy can be ‘nice’ but not nice to us in a relationship capacity.We need to let go of this idea that we can fix and change these bad guys and get some self esteem. It is frightening to think that we would take a guy walking all over us and treating us like shit any day over a man that wants to be nice to us. How much fun can be had with a guy that won’t communicate with us properly, that you suspect is dallying with other women.  We do thrive on drama but I think we need to adjust the setting and switch our focus to building relationships with men that want to love us properly. If we changed our attitudes and addressed our individual fascinations with men that mistreat us, I think that we’d find that our eyes would open up to guys that aren’t creating a load of drama to keep us in their lives.

Lust, big willies, dependency, and even a misguided need to prove to yourself that you can nab him are just some of the reasons why a woman will keep chasing the drama, but these are not the foundations of solid relationships. It’s no wonder relationships fail, marriages fail because the very basis of our relationships are built on jacked up values. Spend some time getting to know a person properly and build a relationship from there. Try the friends first route and opt out of this soap-opera BS that we’ve been buying into. I think you’ll find that life will take on a whole new perspective

My daddy was right boys really are dumb.

OK so there are at least 4 types of guys and out of these for types there can also be sub-groups...I'll go into that next time a guy friend acts like a douche bag, however tonight I will just go over the 4 b/c it's almost ten and I am tired.


1. The Nice Guy - This is the poor shmuck that never gets the girl or maybe the right girl. The girl is dumb b/c if she really wants and awesome family with no divorce and a supportive man then she needs to stop dating the "bad boy" and have something that is real and won't end in misery and heartache. The unfortunate thing is there is not many of these guys left. The ones that are left are in a man cave from the crazy chick that took advantage of his kindness and won't come out, or they are gay.

2. The Bad Boy- This is the real D.B. that doesn't call doesn't care doesn't help doesn't keep commitments, is in it for the tail, lies, lies some more, makes stupid excuses for why he hasn't or can't show up, makes plans then finds something better to do like hang out with another girl then lie about where he is going and oh man I am sorry made these plans first and totally forgot, bitch please.... and really only wants you around when he needs something(booty call). Take for instance a text of the bad boy asking a girl how her day was, the girl says it was fine, the bad boy says are you sure you don't sound fine, so the girl tells the bad boy about whatever it was that upset her to which he replies well I don't want to get into that but here let me share my problems with you. Basically that was a rhetorical question I really don't give a shit but please by all means solve my problems. This is the worst kind of guy and unfortunately I known way too many, and all caring women are drawn to these lying sacks of shit b/c they know how to work us...and several of us at one time. Don't ever kid yourself in thinking you are special...honey you aren't sorry better I say it you read it and leave him in your dust b/c he is not worthy...go get you a nice guy, I know a couple I will introduce you.

Nerd- Nerds aren't always nice guys, I married one, we are divorced...case closed. Most nerds I have run across are over compensating for being picked on in high school. Zak Bagans, ahem....anyways sometimes after college they can turn in to a self absorbed moron and hence becomes the bad boy.  Sometimes they can go the other direction and make something better of themselves but...yeah He’s also very focused on his goals. He’s laying the groundwork for a great future, but probably won’t have any time to enjoy it. You know the type. The guy who tells you he’s got to have a $1 million in the bank before he has a kid, and he really means it.

The Perfect Man: There are a few words that describe the Perfect Man—sexy, seductive, sensitive, sweet, and stable (both emotionally and financially). These are all the ingredients that make up the elusive perfect man. This rare breed of male is almost as elusive as the Lochness Monster, but unlike the legendary sea creature, the perfect man does exist.